Harem Tengoku da to Omottara Yandere Jigoku Datta.

…It’s like I’m the protagonist of a low quality romance comedy. Is this what they call being satisfied with life?

19570Yuuya Kisaragi is your average high schooler and he’s in the local history research club with Kanna Toutoumi, Haruka Arisue and Sayuri Miyasu. One day during lunch while the club has gathered in the club room, Kanna is called to the student council. Yuuya, follows along and they are told by the student council president, Shizuka Kujou (CV: Manami Maeda), to present something on the next cultural festival or they will not have their club room anymore. They get permission to have a mascot character café, but only if they make sure to have the most earnings, or else they need to return the club room. They start working on the mascot character, Izaemon, but…

Common Route + Common Route Bad End
0003After the student council president has told them to show some real results for the cultural festival, Kanna calls Yuuya in the evening. They talk for a while, and during the phone call Yuuya gets inspiration from the TV. They’ll make a mascot character! The next day Kanna has a design for a neighbourhood nice guy character. They decide to have a mascot character café, and with the suggestion drafted out, Kanna and Yuuya go to the student council. The plan is rejected, but Kanna triggers Shizuka and it’s decided they can only have the café if they have the most sells, or else they’ll lose the club room.

The character is changed to be based on the local earth god, who’s in the form of a dog, as per Sayuri’s suggestion, and reluctantly Kanna changes the original rough design to work with the new concept. Sayuri is then in charge of making the costume for the mascot character and to think of a menu, and Haruka will be wearing the mascot character. They all help out with the costume to begin with, but after Sayuri unsuccessfully tried to get the condition of topping the sales, she decided to take it entirely upon herself, because it’d be faster that way.

After the mascot character costume is finished, the club takes it, by Haruka wearing it, to the student council. Shizuka is impressed by the quality of the costume, as well as the choice of character, as there are hardly anything about the local earth god available and a lot of people these days don’t know about it. She asks how they’ll incorporate more of the theme, and they explain they’ll have a quiz, which is taken so that customers get a question sheet before ordering, then there is an answering sheet when the food arrives and when they are to pay, they will get a discount if they answered the quiz right. Aside from that, the menu will include local cuisine and the mascot will perform. And their idea gets the okay from Shizuka. But they shouldn’t hope for too much, because the open place café idea – which they chose because their club room is too small to hold one – will take up a lot space and the location is done by draw, so it’ll have to be explained to the teachers.

Later, Yuuya and Haruka head out to talk with the neighbourhood chairman about the club cooperating with the shopping district. They would lend the mascot character (and Haruka) to the shopping district to use for campaigns and other events, and in return market the character. When asked how it would bring attention to itself (as walking might not do the trick), Yuuya says it’d perform. But they hadn’t decided what performance Haruka would do, so he’s stunned when asked what kind of performance it’d do. Haruka says she can do anything, and the chairman asks if she could juggle, perhaps with baseball bats because he notices Haruka has one with her. Yuuya is about to say that might be a little hard, but Haruka interrupts him saying she’ll do it, and the chairman asks her to do so and will let the shopping district know. But she was really just so nervous she most likely rambled while feeling she wanted to be of help to Yuuya because so far she hasn’t really done anything.

For the next week Haruka practices juggling bats to master it, with Yuuya being there with her to support her. But because her practicing at school is causing problems, they figure out that going to the playground the club members first met at would be a good idea, since there aren’t all that many children playing there. But aside from Haruka working on getting her character together, they also need to find the name of the god that the character is based on.

020While practicing for the performance, Haruka overdoes it and practices late into the night. When Yuuya learns about it after she successfully learnt how to juggle the bats, she starts crying because he’s angry. He’s not really angry, but worried because it’s obviously a toll on her body, even if it can’t be seen. But to make her stop crying, he hugs her as a reward for her hard work, which makes Haruka really happy. But without a reward to look forward, Haruka’s motivation drops, and Yuuya promises he’ll do it again or do something else she wants, as long as it’s not something weird.

Haruka ends up being sick on the day she was supposed to perform and Kanna was a stand in. It was still a success with the children, so the neighbourhood chairman asks them to make the character the shopping district’s official character. When the chairman asks for the name, Yuuya says they have yet found the name of the god. The chairman tells them the god was nameless and suggests to name it Izaemon. It’s the name of a priest related to the god.

After that first week has been tackled, Yuuya’s life returns to its ordinary pace. But Sayuri makes him food for lunch, while trying to make up her mind on the menu. She had thought of one, but she realized she had to redo it so it would work with the café and the fact she works alone. She is confident in her cooking skills, she feels the old menu might not have the quality they want it to be to be the top sellers with the restrictions the café has. Yuuya decides to talk with the student council about it. He’s told to tell the student council president everything so he does, but chooses to not mention its name as he’d been told to keep it secret, and he’s scolded. Sayuri tries keeping some stuff in a cool box (which they were told not to do) and Yuuya and Sayuri try eating it. They feel like it’s fine because they don’t get sick, but they can’t manage to eat all of it, so Yuuya drops it off at the student council and Shizuka is forced to eat it because he leaves just as abruptly as he came.

Later Shizuka comes running for Yuuya and Kanna. She takes them to the student council and scolds them because they’ve broken the school rules by taking Izaemon out to the shopping district. Kanna argues against it, using a different paragraph and the girls keep that up for a while and eventually it’s decided they’ll make sure the school is okay with it. Shizuka assumes Kanna will use her father’s power since he’s the principal, but Kanna gives Yuuya the choice between plan A and plan B. Plan A is hacking into the school system, so Yuuya goes with plan B even if he hasn’t heard it.

Haruka comes running into the classroom saying something has happened. Yuuya instantly thinks that Kanna has put her plan into action and assumes the worst. Haruka has no idea what he’s saying, but drags him along. There he finds Kanna being… abnormal. She’s acting like a model student, which is freaking Haruka out to the point she’s considering beating the heck out of Kanna. But she really hates putting in the effort and only does it because Yuuya wanted her to do her best. And she does her best so well that she was surrounded by people wanting help and bothered her even if she was politely refusing. After a few days of acting like a model student, she’s supposed to go to the club room, but never arrived. Yuuya heads out and found her sleeping. After waking up she asks him to praise her and he tries to make it special.

They see Shizuka again. The teachers decided that there are no problems with Izaemon’s performance in the shopping district. The chairman had also held a petition to keep Izaemon in the shopping district. So Kanna’s plan had worked, to Yuuya’s relief. They’re once again reminded, however, that they have to need to have the top sales to keep the club room. On their way Kanna says she doesn’t want to go home. She uses her reward for working hard to convince Yuuya that she’ll stay over at his home. But to allow it, he has to make it a sleepover with the entire club.

019When 3 days remain until the school festival, a local news reporter checks Izaemon’s performance out, as well as interview the rest of the club about Izaemon. Kanna, as the head of the club, was supposed to answer, but as she was too nervous, Sayuri took over and it all went well. The reporter says she’ll be back at the school festival as well. That evening Yuuya heads out and finds his way to the shrine for the god Izaemon is based on. He is such deep thought that when a miko calls to him, he doesn’t notice until she’s very close. It scares him to suddenly be called out, but he prays and the two talk about the earth god and exorcism.

Bad End
They are going to hold a rehearsal café. (Lol) But the food stand, Haruka’s performance… nothing they had planned was permitted. And so the club room and their place at the school are lost. And while they still go to the same school, things just aren’t the same.

Even though I didn’t finish any of the routes, here is an introduction of the girls. (I’ll update this post later as I finish their routes.)

024Sayuri Miyasu (CV: Yuka Inokuchi)
Sayuri is pretty much a my pace high class-like girl and she is the daughter of an important family. She often stops the fights between Haruka and Kanna by interfering. She became part of the group last, as she wasn’t really allowed to do anything but study as a child. It was thanks to Yuuya she was allowed to make friends and that’s how she became part of the group. She uses more underhanded methods to get time with Yuuya instead of Kanna’s and Haruka’s more obvious attempts. Sayuri is both a good cook and good a sewing, but she also like gory films.

012Kanna Toutoumi (CV: Tomomi Isomura)
Kanna is the head of the club and is also a childhood friend of Yuuya. She often fights with Haruka over Yuuya, and fighting with Haruka was how the three originally met. As a person she’s silent and very intelligent, but she dislikes doing any kind of work and uses her intelligence to avoid work rather than doing it. However, she can be persuaded if she’s rewarded with something that has to do with Yuuya, such as being praised. She has stalker tendencies that are showed in various ways throughout the story.

023Haruka Arisue (CV: Mai Gotou)
Haruka is the comic relief of this game Yuuya’s childhood friend who he met at the playground and saved from being teased. She calls him Yuu-kun. She often fights with Kanna over Yuuya, and is very possessive of him. She will do anything to win over Kanna and Sayuri when it comes to Yuuya. She’s very violent and always carries a baseball bat. She rather kills Yuuya than let anyone else have him, and it’s a common scene in the classroom that she chases him around with the bat proclaiming her love. Haruka is good at things that uses her stamina, so she’s good at for instance sport. Her grades are terrible though.

A month has passed since Valentine’s Day and it’s the next date for me to upload a love themed post. Although, this year’s theme seem to have been “love full of suffering”.

Anyway, the setting is pretty much a typical romance comedy with a guy in his own personal harem with girls fighting each other go get a piece of him. I wish I could say you’d never expect the turn of events, if it wasn’t for the title – which makes it sounds like a really crappy light novel – but the first thing you see is basically blood splatter, so it’s definitely hinting to what direction the game might take.

So, what are my thoughts? Let’s start with the characters.

Haruka has a thing for baseball bats and beating people up. Even her friends. While she was the most violent from the start, she’s not really scary. I mean, you kind of expect her to flip at any time Yuuya shows any lack of affection towards her or is more than just friendly with Kanna and Sayuri.

If you want your girl to hack into your computer or plant a GPS tracker on you, Kanna’s you’re best pick. She’s also the one you’d want if you have a used panty fetish.

Sayuri is that not so secret yandere character who suddenly has her switch flipped (probably). She seemed kind of normal in comparison to the other two, but she’s definitely a bit obsessed with Yuuya.

I’d say – for now – Sayuri is my favourite girl, but I’m really not into yandere, so I really just got the game because it seemed like it’d be fun to die a lot. Not that I ever did that before posting this.

The common route for this game is LONG (which is probably why I haven’t managed to finish any of the girls in time). It includes both present day things that lead up to the school festival and the past in which you learn how everyone met and became friends. But the common route bad ending was so normal it caught me off guard, and I replayed it just to be sure I didn’t miss something interesting. I thought it’d be really nasty, like Yuuya getting stabbed at the school festival or something, but it was nothing of that sort.

The music was nice. As I mentioned, it’s pretty much a typical romance comedy so that’s what I mainly got though. No murder mystery tracks although there was one that could hint for something awful happening soon, but eh… It was just a cat. The comedy track brings the beat up makes it feel hilarious and the daily life tracks really make it seem like all they’ll go through is preparations for a school festival. The opening made me laugh a little every time I heard it, because it kind of has the same genre change as the game should have and it somewhat spirals down from painful song to obsessed love. Part of the song is really catchy for me, which is where ot starts going from seemingly fun to not so much fun. Lol.

The art had its awkward moments, but it wasn’t terrible, so I’d say it’s decent. The story is both hilarious and terrifying and there was that toilet thing in Kanna’s route that just made me super uncomfortable even before I played the game because I checked the CGs out on the Yandere Hell website. And that scene was making me so uncomfortable I skipped right through.

A downside with this game was that I couldn’t screenshot, so therefore all you’re getting are a few CGs I could find. Aside from that resulting in difficulties for me as a reviewer, it’s probably not the greatest downside of all time, but it IS annoying if you, say, want a screenshot of a funny comment. Another downside is the graphic violence (which I’ve seen some screenshots of), if you’re really not into that.

And well, let’s not forget the creepiness levels. (Warning: Spoiler heavy!!!) People tracking you with GPS. People coming over to your house while they call without telling you. People getting into your house without a key. People loving you so much they’ll go into murder-suicide mode in the classroom and the only way to stop them is saying you love them. People invading your home even though your guardian would disapprove and you try to have them stay away. People who’ll be willing to force you into the bath with them. People who carry bats everywhere. People who force you to take off their wet (with pee) panties with the excuse they’ll catch a cold (and they refuse to let anyone else do it) because they know you’re too nice to refuse. Especially the latter gives me chills down my body. I’ve taken off used underwear off of people because I worked at a kindergarten and have a sister with children and like I get that some people need help with that stuff for any reason, but when you’re forced into it AT SCHOOL, IN THE TOILET OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, BY SOMEONE WHO TRACKS YOU WITH GPS and you can’t even look where the hell you place your hands to grab those panties to pull down… Yeah, that’s WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY outta my comfort zone. I just hit circle like my life depended on it and I think the other girls interrupted it, but I doubt the police was never once mentioned. Just because it would be more like “I want Yuuya to take off my panties too?” or “Why should Yuuya take of your panties?” while in, say, Amnesia the police got involved-ish when Heroine was locked up. Isn’t that panty thing a crime as well? Like, ISN’T THAT CLEARLY SEXUAL HARASSMENT if you get some kind of sexual excitement out of forcing some dude to take off your panties because he’s too nice to refuse? WOULDN’T IT BE SEXUAL HARASSMENT IF A GUY FORCED A GIRL TO TAKE OFF HIS UNDERWEAR?!!!

So in short: Yeah, this game kind of gives me the creeps in the wrong kind of way. I wanted murder, I got panties.

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This game is available on CDJapan and Play-Asia.

2 thoughts on “Harem Tengoku da to Omottara Yandere Jigoku Datta.

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