[Note in 2020 At the time of writing this, I was in a phase of my life when I thought “I must be romantically loving my partner because we’re in a relationship”. I was not, still not am, will never be. I love him from the bottom of my heart and soul, but no matter how I try, I can’t see the difference between loving him and family or friends. And before someone says “oh, but maybe your love for him isn’t as strong” or “maybe your love has changed”: No, it hasn’t. It’s the same be it 1, 2, 3, 5, 10 or 15 years ago. I love him to death the same way I have always loved him to death. If anything I love him more today than when I wrote this post. All else in this post is accurate though.]
A running gag among friends and That Game Club, is that my life and especially the romantic aspect of it is like a shoujo manga. I fell in love with my brother’s best friend, whom I had befriended when we were 6 and 8 years old. He had a not so good relationship, I became his talking partner through the tough times and we became very close. Fast forward, and we eventually got together (after I finally AFTER YEARS figured out I was romantically in love) and fast forward a few more years and we’re here today, at this post.
No wait, let’s back up just a bit.
My health is a bit wonky. You’ve probably figured that much out – either through my private twitter, the few mentions I do of it online (here on the blog or my public twitter accounts), or in chats, like in the AnimeNfo Radio chat. So when my body is acting up weirdly we don’t get all that surprised, but if I have some new symptoms, I call a doctor almost immediately. So when my health had a weird turn in the beginning of May, I called the local primary care clinic. I was there, and they decided to do some testing. It was nothing odd. Just some bowel issues, but my inflammation levels had risen, so my doctor and I wanted to look into it.
Well, my health went weirder the evening of the testing day and I collapsed at the local grocery store, definitely worrying one of the staff members. I was hospitalized for a bit. And I would find out I’m pregnant. Less than a week later I was at the gynecological clinic to figure out when I had become pregnant. No one really expected it to be very far.
Guess what? It was.
In fact, so far, the doctor who was taking a look wanted a second opinion from the people doing specialist maternal health care. So the next day I had a second ultrasound and found out I’m 5 months pregnant. What’s the funny thing with this? It’s such a shoujo manga like turn of events, it’s like my life is laughing me in my face. Don’t want 20 chapters of pregnancy? JUST SKIP IT. By making the heroine asymptomatic and then she and the guy spends the next 4 months stressing the hell out while trying to get their life together. And to quote Casandra from Queen of Backlogs:
Also it makes for a great dramatic plot twist just when the relationship has settled into a routine and it gets a bit boring.
I would rather have skipped this goddamn plot twist, to be completely honest. It’s bad enough to collapse at the store, but to find out you’re expecting a child in just a few months the week after? This is off the scale dramatic. And totally something I can imagine being found in a shoujo manga. I was hoping we’d go into the slice of life josei stage in our relationship, but I guess I’m a shoujo romance heroine till the day I die.
So, fast forward. Today. I’ve had a couple of eventful days to say the least. I’ve learnt I’m expecting a child in 4 months. I’ve told my closest family and friends about it. I spent a lot of hours talking for the past few days about my partner’s and my future. I’ve started to sort out things to sell to get money to pay off some of my debts and put together an emergency fund if we need anything.
But I’ve had a lot of support. My sister and friends are all incredibly supportive and they probably get just how shocking this experience is. Cas is taking upon herself to help me out with potential donations. You can mail to AnnyBabyShower@gmail.com if you’re interested to pitch in when a poor and sickly blogger (and/or friend) suddenly has learnt they’re on the way to become a Mama. I mean, we have so much stuff we need. And we totally don’t have the possibility to, say, think about games or books, because we don’t have that kind of income. So if you want to pitch in by sending me and the new party member some things, mail Cas. She knows what we need and I can focus on just getting through the last few months as well. Honestly, it’d help tremendously, because most people have 6-9 months to figure these things out. I’m suddenly sitting here, starting realize that before long I’ll have to ask my partner to help me with daily things I’ve done just fine until now. Like, I still haven’t really gotten that I might have to ask him to do basic stuff for the cat.
And it makes me realize something else. I need to take a break from The Anny Blog. It actually pains me, because I love writing my posts here. But Taisho Alice Volume I will be my last review written for a while (chronologically speaking anyway – I have a bunch of scheduled posts coming up later). Any future posts until my life stabilizes will be sporadic and out of schedule once the posts in schedule comes out. You can still donate to TheAnnyBlog@gmail.com through Paypal to keep the blog up and whenever I can put my Mama duties aside, I’ll try to get something done for a post, to prove I’m alive.
Feel free to comment on the blog or send me messages to the email, on Facebook or on Twitter. I won’t be posting much once the scheduled posts pass by, but I will read all comments and messages and reply to as many as I can.