---

They were a few paces away from the mouth of the alley when Thadus felt a tug on his hem. He ignored it. Surely the wind spirit was up to some more mischief. It had been docile after temporary imprisonment.

The tugging moved to his sleeve. Displeased, he paused and looked toward the sleeve. He wanted to question the cheeky thing about what it wanted now. He had no time for games.

And yet, before he had put thought to action, he snuffed out the flame and put his sceptre into his sleeve instead before pulling up Linden’s hood in one swift motion.

“What?” Linden said, perplexed, but Thadus just continued to walk, back straight, pace deliberate, ignoring those left behind him. The wind spirit tugged at both his sleeves and the hem of his coat.

As he stepped out of the alley, someone nearly collided with him. He turned to give the mortal a disdainful look.

At the same time, the mortal backed up and bowed their head. “My sincerest apologies.”

This mortal wore a simple yellow shirt under a decorated coat and with a gaudily elaborate leather belt with a detailed silver buckle. They wore a hat, too, decorated with several feathers.

Thadus wrinkled his nose. The wind spirit rustled his hair.

What a disgrace to have laid his eyes on such a conspicuous display.

The man raised his head, together with the lantern he held, and froze in place.

“Exalted master!”

“We meet again, guard.”

Viridian-Fool, although Thadus was now inclined to call him Gaudy-Fool, stared for a moment more. He then smiled in a way that was too saccharine even for a child with a sweet tooth to accept.

“I thought Your Lordship had already left Rockforge. I did not find you at the inn, sir.”

This man was truly foolish.

“Naturally not,” Thadus replied. “I would not wait for my own service once I finish my meal, so explain to me why would I wait for a guard only meant to escort me to a subpar establishment?”

“Your Exalted Lordship is correct. It was I who was too slow and inconvenienced you, sir.”

Thadus contemplated asking this mortal where, exactly, he lived so he could make good on his thought of burning the guard’s house down. He could not tolerate the mockery this person offered. It was an assault to Thadus’ eyes to even look at him, an offense to his ears to hear his sycophantic words. His very presence was repulsive.

“Lord Thadus…”

Thadus turned and saw a person in a dark, tasselled cloak over dark garments approach from the darkness of the alley. As they got closer, the cloak was a deep indigo colour, very familiar. They had the hood up, but their complexion was late in the light of the lantern.

Thadus sniffed and turned to the guard.

“You are indeed an inconvenience to my person. You dared bring me to such a wretched establishment and thought to call it ‘elevated’, and now you stop me on my way? Have you no decency? Not even a proper bow to offer, no apologies to make? Do you not know how to make amends? Truly, a disgrace beyond measure. A swine has a greater sense of etiquette than you.”

Gaudy-Fool bowed. “Exalted Sir, you have my deepest, humblest—”

Thadus wasn’t done.

“And this.”

The guard looked up.

“This display. What mockery! Truly a travesty to lay my eyes upon. Who dressed you? A child would wear it better and look decent. How old do you think you are? I have seen toddlers in more elegant garments playing on the streets on this day. If you rolled in the waste on these cobblestones, that would be an unfortunate improvement. You dare appear before me looking like a disastrous jester!”

He then added a final, “You stink of obscenity.”

Well, that made him feel a little better after all the trials he had been forced by these mortals to endure.

The guard could only smile in silence, knowing not to speak back at least, before turning to Linden. “And who is this? Shall I have them removed from Your Lordship’s presence, seeing as this person is of such poor status? If this person has been bothering this Exalted Master—”

Thadus felt his eye twitch.

Linden opened their mouth. “I—”

Thadus intercepted, “Who are you to suggest who bothers me or not? Is that not my decision? Mortal, you are not making a favourable case for yourself.”

“M-mortal?” the guard stuttered.

“I serve Lord Thadus,” Linden offered as an explanation.

What nonsense! Who exactly do you serve? Only yourself! Thadus told Linden in his mind.

“Exalted Sir Spellcaster, you had no servants before…”

“That is neither here nor there. All my servants are lower kin. They are required to travel by mortal means. They never reach a destination before I do, even if they set out prior to when I do.”

The guard offered no response.

After a moment’s silence, Linden inquired, “Sir Guard, may I humbly ask why you happen to be here so late at night? The night market is in the other direction.”

“I live here,” Gaudy-Fool responded.

“Oh?”

Now Thadus was interested.

“If the exalted spellcaster must so know, I was going to the tavern in a different district to have dinner. I only finished my shift not long ago.”

“And so you needed to dress like a prancing, gaudy madman heading out to present your mating dance for the pheasants in the nearest forest? At night?” Thadus asked, unimpressed.

“If I may so suggest,” Linden followed, “The good ladies at the tavern will not see a man of status. Take off the hat and strip yourself of the coat, and you will at least not be considered a pompous eyesore.” They paused, and the smile was audible as they continued, “But if Sir Guard is looking to spend the remainder of this night with a man, then it might just work quite well.”

Gaudy-Fool’s expression turned stiff before he bowed with a simple, “Lord Spellcaster must excuse my indiscretion as I must unfortunately leave,” before he walked around them and hurried away, taking the light of his lantern with him.

Linden turned to look over their shoulder.

Thadus turned to look at Linden.

“You have a cloak matching you sash?” he asked.

“I never wore a sash,” Linden replied and pulled down the hood, still studying the guard for a beat. “That man would never survive as a townguard in the Confederation. The Royal Knights would never let him be so careless. He even forgot to check my identification, even though you never confirmed I was your servant.”

“That incapable fool wore a viridian green coat as uniform when he was to guide me.”

“So he is a guard of the Upper City? Truly a shame.”

“I don’t understand why it’s a shame. The Upper City is all a display of atrocious taste and manure. He fits right in.”

Linden chuckled and then turned to the alley. “Child, come out.”

The youth scurried out, then stopped at an awkward distance.

Linden continued their journey toward the tavern, walking in the opposite direction of Gaudy-Fool.

Thadus looked at the buildings with narrowed eyes. He studied each of the house.

Which one was he supposed to—

“We are not committing theft in someone’s home, Lord Thadus,” Linden said. “We have enough thieves among us.”

“And how many is that?” Thadus asked suspiciously.

If this rat was calling him a thief, when he had never and would never steal…

“One,” the fiend said with a smile.

Thadus was not convinced.

---

Author’s Note

Next part is going to be the last of this arc. I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far and enjoy the ending of the arc before the next one.

Yes, indeed. Lord Thadus has yet to finish his misadventures.